Not Terrible, But Not So Teariffic

Teariffic.

This review originally appeared on The Gotham Palate.

Fresh from a weekend trip to Boston, my friend and I arrived back in the brusque city streets of Chinatown where the scents of fish markets, dumplings and automobile exhaust accosts you from every angle and the food is plentiful. Famished (notice how most of my entries mention acute hunger pangs), we trudged along to Mott Street, my wheeled luggage jolting up and down over crooked sidewalk cracks.

Destination: Teariffic.

Squid Balls & Shrimp Balls Noodle Soup.

I had the Squid Balls & Shrimp Balls Noodle Soup ($4.85) and small hot Honey Green Tea ($2.55). I like the squid balls, which had a chewy give, but for some reason I couldn't get into the shrimp flavor. It was off-tasting. Perhaps this was a subtle hint to me that shrimp should stay in its original form and not morph into a ball. Ever.

The udon noodles were overcooked and lacked any al dente buoyancy. Lucky for me, I was too hungry to obsess over the texture, so long as I had sustenance in my belly. Also, the hot broth worked wonders in clearing up my nasal congestion. For brisk fall and winter nights, hot stews and soups are just what the doctor ordered.

Hot Honey Green Tea.

The green tea was steeped too long and had a bitter, acidic quality, despite tasting like a sugar pill - no shortage of honey in here! Generally, for green tea, the tea leaves should remain in the pot for no longer than two minutes.

Service lagged, and the waitstaff seemed inattentive and unenthusiastic. Our waiter looked indifferent - or maybe just tired. I think the restaurant was short on staff. Luckily, we didn't have to wait too long for our food. As for the decor, it was very much like Saint's Alp, except transported in a Chinatown setting. Small wooden tables matched with low, square stools. Each party sat in close proximity to one another, enhancing the convivial atmosphere.

Steamed White Rice with Marinated Pork.

My friend had Steamed White Rice with Marinated Pork ($4.85). As always, Taiwanese cafes serve boiled tea eggs with their hot meals. I happily chomped on mine, but my dining companion does not enjoy boiled eggs. The pork was plentiful, however, and a sufficient amount of sauce covered the hot rice.

Prices were very affordable, as are most of the restaurants on this strip of Chinatown (Mott St). The cafe was 80% full, which, on a weekday at 5 p.m., is saying a lot. It seems people aren't cutting back on their bubble tea anytime soon. I didn't try the boba, but I hear the ginger black tea and mango with green apple and aloe vera are a thumb's up.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars. While the food is decent, the spotty service and ultra-sweet tea detracted from the tea-drinking experience.

Location:
Teariffic
51 Mott St.
New York, NY 10013
212.393.9009

The Little Kumquat That Could

Kumquat Lime Boba.

Our dear friend Kristal came to visit the New York crew from Boston. After a zigzagging escapade that resulted in my late arrival to our designated meet-up time, we finally convened in Chinatown close to 2 p.m. Our ravenous stomachs garbled and groaned. I led my buddies to Green Tea Cafe.

Curry Chicken...

Since I've been in a curry kind of mood lately, I ordered the curry chicken. (Chicken, after all, must be safer than beef...right?)

...Caught a Case of Chicken Pox.

Jumping jellybeans! I couldn't have been more wrong. The yellow curry was good enough with a fine aroma of coconut milk. Not the spicy kind of curry, but I was OK with that. However, halfway through the meal, something started to taste off.

I take it red chicken can't be a good sign, huh? The chef must have neglected to notice that the chicken should have been cooked thoroughly in all areas before serving it on my plate. When I brought the pinkness to the attention of our waiter, he stared at it blankly for a full two seconds before commanding the attention of his higher-up. After a quick consultation, he then told me that it was "fine" to eat and that the chicken had come from the freezer.

Uhhh....did you really think I was going to buy that? (No pun intended.) I asked the waiter to heat up the chicken a little longer. I believe my exact words were to "pop it" in the microwave.

Rachel's brother Ricky (not pictured) had some sound words of advice for me:

-In case anything goes wrong, the bathroom's back there (He pointed).

-Thanks for noticing.

-No problem.

When the waiter reemerged from the kitchen with my dish, I picked around the chicken with some hesitation and finally decided not to risk it. Kristal graciously offered me some of her Portuguese Chicken, slathered with nutty peanut sauce. That kind of made up for it.

Rachel's Ribs and Rice.

Rachel was too engrossed in her peppered ribs to notice my possible salmonella poisoning (just kidding about the salmonella bit).

Kristal's Portuguese Chicken.

Ricky: Why is your kumquat green?

Me: That would be called syrup.

Ricky: (pause) Oh.

I've made it my unofficial mission to sample the kumquat boba from every teahouse in the New York City area. I don't know why or when I decided this, but at one point I must have thought it would be a fun challenge. That and curry. Some people do the same with frozen yogurt (I know you Californians are nodding your head to this).

After I'd slurped down the rest of my drink, Ricky decided to play forensics expert with the remaining lone kumquat. Armed with a fork and knife, he sliced through the pit in one precise stroke. He then proceeded to mash the kumquat, along with all its seeds, and mask it in the remains of his Portuguese chicken sauce. It turns out the kumquat and the sauce were the same color and blended seamlessly into each other. I'm not sure whether to be amazed or saddened by this.

Although half my dish was edible, the near-salmonella incident will be forever imprinted in my mind. Talk about leaving a bad impression. Sorry, Green Tea Cafe! I will not be patronising you for awhile. Need to get over my chicken fright first.

NEW Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars. The boba was decent, even considering the :ahem: generous allotment of sweet simple syrups that went into it. I generally prefer more of a natural flavor - emphasis on the tea rather than on the syrup. It's the chicken that did me in.

Location:
Green Tea Cafe
45 Mott St
Ste A
New York, NY 10013
212.693.2888

Leaving Footprints on Saint's Alp

Alp
Pronunciation: \'alp\
Function: noun
Etymology: back-formation from Alps, mountain system of Europe
Date: 15th century

1: a high rugged mountain
2: something suggesting an alp in height, size, or ruggedness

My first introduction to Saint's Alp Teahouse was about three years when my friend Nick took me there for some boba freshman year. This was back in his pre-vegan days (if you can remember that long ago, it's safe to say it's been awhile). A cozy Taiwanese teahouse in the East Village, Saint's Alp is a local neighborhood haunt popular with the college kids, a place where I know I can get good bubble tea and reliable lunch dishes for cheap. Over the years, I've sampled countless varieties of their bubble tea: black, almond, mango, passion fruit, Romeo, Juliet and kumquat lime nectar bubble teas, and lychee nectar with nata de coco. As for the dishes: Braised chicken, minced pork and shredded spicy chicken with green noodles, just to name a few.

On my most recent trip to Saint's Alp two days ago, I discovered with a shock that my beloved Romeo (tart) and Juliet (sweet) Specials had strangely vanished from the menu. Oh, no! The thought that my Shakespearean loves had been offed saddened me momentarily.



But then I ordered a Tropical Fruit Nata ($3.45, incl. boba), and all was well with the world again. The Specially Braised Chicken Chunk with rice ($5.50) came out a little later than usual, but I'll cough that up to the downsized staff (I only spotted one chef in the kitchen before 3pm, and there were only two small parties when we arrived at 1pm on a weekday).

Pssssst: Even the waiters are familiar. The same Taiwanese pretty boys from three years ago still work here. That's one of the perks of being a regular, you notice these things. And they notice you. Maybe.



My friend Kristal ordered the Marinated Minced Pork with rice ($5.50) and the hot butterscotch black milk tea with boba ($3.25). Buttery is the key word here.

A shining Kristal moments before digging in.

For years, I thought Saint's Alp was 'Saint Alp's' -- a common visual blunder, I suppose. I have so many memories of Saint's Alp. Countless lunch and snack sessions with high school and college buddies, but also a handful of awkward 'dates'.

I'll never forget that one sweltering summer evening of 2007. I was working as a front end cashier at Dean & Deluca. I brought my co-worker here -- it was his first time. Blond, curly-haired, one year my senior, with a nonchalant swagger, completely uninhibited and borderline Bukowski-an by nature. His recent history included backpacking through China, where he'd almost managed to get stuck there until someone had made a few calls to the embassy and bailed him out. After work, we walked all the way from Soho to Third Av and almost didn't make it to Saint's Alp due to my lack of navigational skills. Once there, he ordered the first thing that caught his eye: Chocomint Shake. I could've died then and there. But hey, to each his own.

There's still a lot on the menu I have yet to try: Mung bean shake, green barley juice, honey & yolk cocktail, taro pudding with azuki bean, condensed milk toast. However, I'm confident that I'll get around to it...so long as Saint's Alp stays in business (crossing my fingers).