The Little Kumquat That Could

Kumquat Lime Boba.

Our dear friend Kristal came to visit the New York crew from Boston. After a zigzagging escapade that resulted in my late arrival to our designated meet-up time, we finally convened in Chinatown close to 2 p.m. Our ravenous stomachs garbled and groaned. I led my buddies to Green Tea Cafe.

Curry Chicken...

Since I've been in a curry kind of mood lately, I ordered the curry chicken. (Chicken, after all, must be safer than beef...right?)

...Caught a Case of Chicken Pox.

Jumping jellybeans! I couldn't have been more wrong. The yellow curry was good enough with a fine aroma of coconut milk. Not the spicy kind of curry, but I was OK with that. However, halfway through the meal, something started to taste off.

I take it red chicken can't be a good sign, huh? The chef must have neglected to notice that the chicken should have been cooked thoroughly in all areas before serving it on my plate. When I brought the pinkness to the attention of our waiter, he stared at it blankly for a full two seconds before commanding the attention of his higher-up. After a quick consultation, he then told me that it was "fine" to eat and that the chicken had come from the freezer.

Uhhh....did you really think I was going to buy that? (No pun intended.) I asked the waiter to heat up the chicken a little longer. I believe my exact words were to "pop it" in the microwave.

Rachel's brother Ricky (not pictured) had some sound words of advice for me:

-In case anything goes wrong, the bathroom's back there (He pointed).

-Thanks for noticing.

-No problem.

When the waiter reemerged from the kitchen with my dish, I picked around the chicken with some hesitation and finally decided not to risk it. Kristal graciously offered me some of her Portuguese Chicken, slathered with nutty peanut sauce. That kind of made up for it.

Rachel's Ribs and Rice.

Rachel was too engrossed in her peppered ribs to notice my possible salmonella poisoning (just kidding about the salmonella bit).

Kristal's Portuguese Chicken.

Ricky: Why is your kumquat green?

Me: That would be called syrup.

Ricky: (pause) Oh.

I've made it my unofficial mission to sample the kumquat boba from every teahouse in the New York City area. I don't know why or when I decided this, but at one point I must have thought it would be a fun challenge. That and curry. Some people do the same with frozen yogurt (I know you Californians are nodding your head to this).

After I'd slurped down the rest of my drink, Ricky decided to play forensics expert with the remaining lone kumquat. Armed with a fork and knife, he sliced through the pit in one precise stroke. He then proceeded to mash the kumquat, along with all its seeds, and mask it in the remains of his Portuguese chicken sauce. It turns out the kumquat and the sauce were the same color and blended seamlessly into each other. I'm not sure whether to be amazed or saddened by this.

Although half my dish was edible, the near-salmonella incident will be forever imprinted in my mind. Talk about leaving a bad impression. Sorry, Green Tea Cafe! I will not be patronising you for awhile. Need to get over my chicken fright first.

NEW Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars. The boba was decent, even considering the :ahem: generous allotment of sweet simple syrups that went into it. I generally prefer more of a natural flavor - emphasis on the tea rather than on the syrup. It's the chicken that did me in.

Location:
Green Tea Cafe
45 Mott St
Ste A
New York, NY 10013
212.693.2888

High on Life, Low on Blood Sugar

It was all a blur.

This was before the Epik High show started and my arms were aching from pumping my fist in the air, raving that strobe light and clapping.

Rachel's Butterscotch Boba, my Lychee Nectar Nata De Coco, Dave's satisfied face.

It's 10 o'clock. Do you know where your children are?

I don't, but I do know where I was at 11:30. Saint's Alp. It was the closest place we could think of at the time for quick service and food in the stomach.

When the waiter served us our hot bowls of nourishment, a good five minutes passed before any of us said a word. Hunger = lack of conversation. That was one of the most satisfying dinners ever. Maybe because I was just that hungry.

On a side note, I noticed that the Romeo and Juliet specials had been taken off the menu. Noooo...

Farewell, young things. I guess this is goodbye.

Braised Chicken Chunks on Rice (mine).

Platter of wings, fried dumplings & tea eggs (Rachel's).

Minced pork on rice (Dave's).

Dumplings, Boba & All That Flushing

Cabbage, celery and pork dumplings.

Best Northern Dumplings. Impressions: good, but wouldn't call them "the best." But ten dumplings for just $3.25 is indeed a bargain. I prefer the juicy xiao long bao, or soup dumplings, at Joe's Shanghai. I also don't have an affinity for leeks, even though that's a popular ingredient for the second thing on the menu: Leek & Aquatic Food Dumpling.

Quickly Corp.

The sun was steadily melting my face into a hot mess. So what did I crave? Boba, of course! Enter Quickly Corporation: The guy in the white polo is so stiff with his popped collar that I had to do a double take to make sure he wasn't a mannequin.

Kumquat boba.

When I saw the guy behind the counter push down on the yellow syrup container, my heart almost burst. What -- no real kumquat? I guess I was expecting too much, though. For $3.25, this boba is alright but nothing special. At least the tapioca pearls were the right texture...not too hard, not too soft.

Assorted pastries.

Several blocks away, I trucked on over to Grandpa's for some afternoon refreshments and grandfather-granddaughter bonding time. Featured: Chicken pot pie bun from Star Bakery on Kissena, and banana walnut muffin.

Ratings:
Best Northern Dumplings: 4 out of 5 stars. After hungrily downing all 10 dumplings, my head was a wee bit dizzy. Could it be the MSG content? It's good for lunch, but it wasn't exactly quick. I do love the red vinegar sauce.

Quickly Corp.: 3.5 out of 5 stars. Stick to the regular bubble tea and skip the simple syrups.


Locations:
Best Northern Dumpling Shop
135-08 Roosevelt Av A4
Flushing, NY 11354
917.834.4991

Quickly Corporation
41-40 Kissena Blvd
Flushing, NY 11355
718.358.1835

Joe's Shanghai
136-21 37th Ave
Flushing, NY 11354
718.539.3838

Day 3: North End -- GaGa for Gelato

Napoli Pastry Shop.

Come get your gelati! The glossy picture menu featuring 40-odd varieties of decadent desserts drew me into Napoli Pastry Shop.

Buds.

Rachel and I got our double scoops on.

Rachel had the green apple and mint straciatella (left). I ordered the cafe (coffee) and fruity forest. Fruity forest tasted like Stride forest fruit gum -- the one with the yellow wrapping that they hand out for free on Comm Av at B.U. But the flavor would be more aptly described as "funky forest," much like the Japanese film of the same title. I imagined Ryo Kase with a bowl cut dancing the robot and spazzing into interpretive dance on the beach while holding red streamers.

Yeah. So it was like that, in my mouth. Explosion in the mouth! Watch the movie and you'll know what I'm talking about. Actually, just watch the trailer. Sitting through all 150 minutes of it might give you permanent brain damage. My sister wonders why I subject myself to these types of "weird" films. "Funky Forest" is a comical commentary on the mind-numbing reality of everyday life.

Luckily, the rich, strong flavor of the cafe gelato helped to cancel out whatever residual funkiness I encountered in the forest. The creamy, full-bodied cafe conjured hot cups of kona coffee. I'm still trying to decide whether I liked funky forest. The texture was a cross between playdough and those Chinese strawberry sucker candies with a slight stickiness at the end.

A four-tiered wooden shelf in the pastry shop displayed Italian cookies, coffee and nutella for sale. To quench your thirst, you could take your pick of the Italian sodas and fruit juices in the back. Surprisingly, Napoli didn't offer hazelnut gelato this time around.

Look -- it's the Joe and Rachel Show!

I'm not even sure what they're holding, but their wide eyes hypnotize you into wanting to try it. Whatever "it" is...

We moved on to Chinatown. I was craving boba, so Missy suggested Dong Khanh, but they're closed until April for renovation. Bummer. Instead, we settled on Bao Bao Bakery down the block, where we found "Cute Cake" (a spongy cupcake with whipped cream snowmen on top, $1.95 each) and green tea and sesame thins ($3.25). I bought a lychee boba made with actual lychee fruit ($3.50).

Puffed up much?

Blowfish. The edible version.

This has been a very mind-numbing day. My taste buds are confuzzled.

After today, I realized that some of us were meant for stand-up comedy (Joe). Others should stick to our industry of choice. Joe had Rachel and I doubled over in a giggly spell. We commented on how Missy was "the only adult" of the four of us, which is sad but rather true.


Ratings:
Napoli Pastry Shop: 4 out of 5 stars. It might've been different had I tried one of the "safer" flavors, but then I wouldn't have a fun story to tell, would I?

Bao Bao Bakery: 4 out of 5 stars. No complaints on the boba. I would stick to the drinks. The pastries might be more questionable.


Locations:
Napoli Pastry Shop
120 Salem St
Boston, MA 02113
617.742.0809

Dong Khanh
81 Harrison Ave
Boston, MA 02111
617.426.9410

Bao Bao Bakery
77 Harrison Ave
Boston, MA 02111
617.988.8191

Leaving Footprints on Saint's Alp

Alp
Pronunciation: \'alp\
Function: noun
Etymology: back-formation from Alps, mountain system of Europe
Date: 15th century

1: a high rugged mountain
2: something suggesting an alp in height, size, or ruggedness

My first introduction to Saint's Alp Teahouse was about three years when my friend Nick took me there for some boba freshman year. This was back in his pre-vegan days (if you can remember that long ago, it's safe to say it's been awhile). A cozy Taiwanese teahouse in the East Village, Saint's Alp is a local neighborhood haunt popular with the college kids, a place where I know I can get good bubble tea and reliable lunch dishes for cheap. Over the years, I've sampled countless varieties of their bubble tea: black, almond, mango, passion fruit, Romeo, Juliet and kumquat lime nectar bubble teas, and lychee nectar with nata de coco. As for the dishes: Braised chicken, minced pork and shredded spicy chicken with green noodles, just to name a few.

On my most recent trip to Saint's Alp two days ago, I discovered with a shock that my beloved Romeo (tart) and Juliet (sweet) Specials had strangely vanished from the menu. Oh, no! The thought that my Shakespearean loves had been offed saddened me momentarily.



But then I ordered a Tropical Fruit Nata ($3.45, incl. boba), and all was well with the world again. The Specially Braised Chicken Chunk with rice ($5.50) came out a little later than usual, but I'll cough that up to the downsized staff (I only spotted one chef in the kitchen before 3pm, and there were only two small parties when we arrived at 1pm on a weekday).

Pssssst: Even the waiters are familiar. The same Taiwanese pretty boys from three years ago still work here. That's one of the perks of being a regular, you notice these things. And they notice you. Maybe.



My friend Kristal ordered the Marinated Minced Pork with rice ($5.50) and the hot butterscotch black milk tea with boba ($3.25). Buttery is the key word here.

A shining Kristal moments before digging in.

For years, I thought Saint's Alp was 'Saint Alp's' -- a common visual blunder, I suppose. I have so many memories of Saint's Alp. Countless lunch and snack sessions with high school and college buddies, but also a handful of awkward 'dates'.

I'll never forget that one sweltering summer evening of 2007. I was working as a front end cashier at Dean & Deluca. I brought my co-worker here -- it was his first time. Blond, curly-haired, one year my senior, with a nonchalant swagger, completely uninhibited and borderline Bukowski-an by nature. His recent history included backpacking through China, where he'd almost managed to get stuck there until someone had made a few calls to the embassy and bailed him out. After work, we walked all the way from Soho to Third Av and almost didn't make it to Saint's Alp due to my lack of navigational skills. Once there, he ordered the first thing that caught his eye: Chocomint Shake. I could've died then and there. But hey, to each his own.

There's still a lot on the menu I have yet to try: Mung bean shake, green barley juice, honey & yolk cocktail, taro pudding with azuki bean, condensed milk toast. However, I'm confident that I'll get around to it...so long as Saint's Alp stays in business (crossing my fingers).